I hand wash mine during the summer and use a touchless or self-serve wash during the winter. Old-style car washes with the rotating brushes are terrible for paint, as are the brushes at the self-serve washes.
The best way is to hand wash with high quality towels during the warmer months of the year, and use a touchless or self-serve car wash (minus the brush) when it's too cold to hand wash during the winter. Using a touchless or self-serve wash will not get it 100% clean, but your paint will thank you.
I found this out the hard way, and have the swirl marks to prove it. My favorite wax is Meguiar's Gold Class because it gives the deepest shine on dark vehicles such as mine, however it only lasts a month or so.