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Discussion Starter #1
Once in a while we get into some situation in life that sometimes we don't know how to cope with a lost. This can be very frustrating and sometime even dangerous. How to cope with a love that was lost from one day to another. It isn't easy because no one knows what you are feeling, but yourself. But sometimes in life everyone has to go through at least once in a life time. These are remedies that can make your heart understand, even though he doesn't.

#1. Initiate "She/He-Tox" No contact at all. Starting right know, not tomorrow, NOW! Erase his/her phone number from your cell phone, computer, email. every means of communication must stop. Put this in your mine, when a man/woman say NO, don't insist. You don't know how low your reputation in his/her eyes you can go.

#2 Bag and Burn. Remove all pictures, videos, wallpapers, That special trip to the Bahamas. Bag every means of evidence of his/her existence and toss it. Don't leave anything in the closet just in case you make up. Remember, when it is NO, it's NO.

#3. STOP being Friends with Him/Her. Some one of the two parties want to be friends after they dumped you, NO Screw that man. Any man or woman who took a two year look at you and dumped you to try his or her luck elsewhere doesn't deserve you to be his/her friend. Your "Friendship" has been taken off his/her list. If he/her insist, just let him/her know you are not giving out applications on someone who just hurt your feelings. Let them know you want respect.

#4 Don't find the answer of what went wrong in a bottle of Dewar's. You will never find that answer here. On the contrary, only new questions will arise. "Why I didn't do this...?" or Why I didn't do that...? Forget it. For your well being, you must make your heart understand.

#5 Surround yourself with another crowd. If it was at work, and the gang is getting together. And you know he/she might be their. Don't go, you might make fool out of yourself after a few drinks. Evade a confrontation.

#6 Maintain an Active life style. Walk, Run, Jog, keep your mind occupied. But don't stop to have a crisis. You will make it public soon then later. Keep it quiet. The pillow doesn't answer, sleep it off.

#6 Eat right, vitamin C, eat healthy. This sometimes lowers you autoesteem. Losing weight, is a very definite signal that you are suffering, he/she will know sooner or later. He/she will just laugh at you. Don't let that happen. On the contrary. Take this as an experience. That next time you will be wiser. BTW, don't go to the same places you went with him/her. Discover new places.

#7 Get back on the horse. Go out, see other men/woman. Change your appearance. New hair cut/do. Buy yourself new clothing. Leave that past in the past.

When these thing happen, it means that maybe the almighty has someone in the future that will really appreciate who your are and will ch arise you. The only person that can tell you this is your heart. The best thing for this situation is Time. Time that you have to make on your own. But you must be firm in your decision to continue with your life and don't look back. If you ever find him/her again, you will find that what you went through, was really insignificant. And it wasn't worth your agony.
 

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I would have to agree that it would work for most situations, but when you have kids, the part about never seeing them just doesn't work. Damn, I wish it did. :wink: Thankfully, my ex has someone else, so it keeps her from bothering me too much. But if she went off a cliff, it wouldn't bother me a bit. Beacuse then I wouldn't have to see her. :twisted:
 

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Discussion Starter #3
dnylrq, this is only for a girlfriend/boyfriend situation. No kids involved. Now then, with kids involved, non of the above applies. I know, I've been married three times. I only have one kid with the one I'm today, we are NOT legally married. What keeps me with her is my son. Do we have problems, of course, but my son goes first. She sees the same. I'm good to go.
 

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wow, thanks for opening up and giving us your perspective. Girl/guy thing is definitely a tough one. I've been through a couple hardships myself. Hope things get better. My overly simplified tools for success which I thought of while waiting in a doctor's office standing in a room butt naked (oh yeah, i had on the little scrub thing):

CCC

Compassion
Compromise
Commitment
 

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Discussion Starter #5
When these thing happen. Next time you are very couches to whom you open up to. Especially to very beautiful woman. If they do come to you, DON'T lower your head. This is a natural behavior once you been through this situation. Let them take a good look at you. Make friends, just friends. But your instinct will make you picky. "No, this isn't the one." When people are hurt with a love one. We tend to be a little more quiet, not wanting to go into another relation because the last one was too painful. Just surf the meat market [that's your local PUB]. And just have fun for the next months or so. Let it come naturally to you. If your new lady take the place in your heart of the other one. DON'T count victory yet. Let time tell. They say in my country.

"If you love her, let her go. If she comes back, she's yours. If she doesn't, she never was" :wink:

PS that works viceversa
 

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I have to agree with you there, bud. Defintely tougher dealing with people after you've been hurt. However, my situation stays the same regardless. I just don't like people (except my fellow RAVers and people I play my online games with). Must be something wrong with me :twisted: :lol: I find that so many people are dishonest and shady, and quite frankly, its beginning to piss me off. Oh well, this isn't a rant anyway :wink:

I've also heard that saying before. Its so true too.
 

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I've found recently the source of all my unhappiness from day one since i was a child: My expectations of people are too high. Since I've been alive the standard for human behavior has plumeted while my expections had remained the same or higher. Relatively speaking, the difference is becoming more and more extreme.
 

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Discussion Starter #8
Gentlemen, their is always hope. Just keep the faith in yourself and the Almighty. He has helped me go through some very difficult situations. Situations that have become the turning points in my life. Situations that have been life threatening. Sometimes I felt that I couldn't even breath. I had to ride like a wild man on the expressway just so I could scream.

I had to look for inner peace first. I had to realize that I had to be satisfied with my solitude, because it became my friend. I thought I ran out of love for life. But the best thing God has made was one day behind the other. I realized that what ever happen, tomorrow was going to happen. I just had to learn to live life without those special people. The problem was that this happen more then once, it happen twice. As time went by, and life cured my pain, I realized that I was right in the way I dealed with both situation. I thought I was going mad. After years, they both tried to come back, both of them in two very different situation. You know what, I realized that they have changed me for mister wrong and Not mister right. One of the dude, [who incidentally was a teacher] was accused of child molestation, twice. Now, she is divorced and still looking for mister right. It is not a question of who was right or who was wrong. It was a question of very bad judgement on her and her family. Recently I ran into her mother at a local gas station. She looked at me, and her eye said it all. I just smiled and walk away, not looking back. I said it all, without saying a word.

The other one was at a party I went with my wife. She was at the door looking at me. I just went by, she even went as much as putting he hand on my arm, and holding it tight. I just kept walking with my wife because she lost that privilege, for foolish insignificant situation that were so simple.

On that day, I realized how simple was it all. That if I would of done whatever crazy idea came to my mind. I would of lost more. I would of lost all the happiness that I have in my life. I would of lost the birth of my son. The success in my career. That night, I proved to myself, that I won.

Peace.
 
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